On the other hand, and let's face it, there's always another hand, unless you're a Saudi Arabian shoplifter of course, hurt feelings can be quite traumatic. I've heard that it can take seconds, sometimes even minutes, to get over it.

Being called close-minded by religious people is a bit like being called yellow by a bunch of bananas.

The best thing about religion is that it's so transparently absurd it can't possibly last forever. I'm convinced it will only take a small shift in human consciousness for it to be laughed off the planet, and I hope I'm still around when that happens.

Being called close-minded by religious people is a bit like being called yellow by a bunch of bananas.

Freedom requires religion like a slug requires salt

Now, the past has plenty to teach us, but I don't think it should be allowed to detain us against our will.

People keep framing this as a religious freedom issue, but there's a difference between practising your religion - which everyone has the right to do - and rubbing your religion in people's faces as a triumphalist political statement, which is what's happening here.

One person I do feel a little sorry for, though, is the Archbishop of Canterbury, the most important clergyman in Britain and he's only got two lousy palaces to live in. What sort of life is that for a man of God? I bet if Jesus came back, even he'd be embarrassed for him I bet he wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.

Q: Prove God doesn’t exist. A: That’s a tough one. Show me how it’s done by proving Zeus and Apollo don’t exist, and I’ll use your method.

According to current birthrate projections, France will be a majority Muslim country anyway in about 50 years. I get a lot of e-mails from Americans who think that Europeans are spineless. And I think they're right.

But it seems to me that if God had intended for you to cover your face then, in His wisdom, He would have provided you with a flap of skin for the purpose.

The fact that a Jewish state needs to exist at all - and it does need to exist - is an indictment of all humanity, and especially the Catholic Church, whose centuries-long programme of aggressive Jew hatred has been ingrained right into the European psyche so that it takes almost nothing to bring it out.