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Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress round it, thus enabling me to avoid the blood, sweat and tears inseparable from an author's life.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Author
Blood
Round
Enabling
Thing
Rounds
Plate
Life
Avoid
Inseparable
Thus
Handed
Tears
Plates
Literary
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Sweat
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More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

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[He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions.
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This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
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An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.
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Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.
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You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.
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Employers are like horses — they require management.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.
P. G. Wodehouse
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There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
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Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.
P. G. Wodehouse
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She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when.'
P. G. Wodehouse
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As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.
P. G. Wodehouse
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?' The mood will pass, sir.
P. G. Wodehouse
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While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I love writing. I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.
P. G. Wodehouse
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The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
P. G. Wodehouse