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As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt halt.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Eight
Sex
Mistletoe
Child
Abrupt
Party
Trout
Girl
Halt
Come
Kissed
Children
Christmas
Life
Six
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But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.
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I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.
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The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.
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My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
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At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
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There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
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Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
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This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
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I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
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It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.
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I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
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What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
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Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.
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It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
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[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.
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There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
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An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.
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Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
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In every romance you have to budget for the occasional dust-up.
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