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As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt halt.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Party
Trout
Girl
Halt
Come
Kissed
Children
Christmas
Life
Six
Eight
Sex
Mistletoe
Child
Abrupt
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I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
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I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.
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I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
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There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
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One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.
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I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
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One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours´ sleep each night - I cannot recall at the moment how many - made a man something which for the time being has slipped my memory.
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you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?
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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
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I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!
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My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
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There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.
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A lesser moustache, under the impact of that quick, agonised expulsion of breath, would have worked loose at the roots.
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She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.
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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
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A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.
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Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
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Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
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