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I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Going
Poet
Make
Pretty
Things
Modern
Never
Tell
Men
Place
Thinking
May
Wells
Well
Poignant

More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

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...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.
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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.
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Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
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There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
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Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
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The spine, and I do not attempt to conceal the fact, had become soluble, in the last degree.
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He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommé, and the dinner-gong due any moment.
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I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well. ~ Bertram Bertie Wooster
P. G. Wodehouse
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The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.
P. G. Wodehouse
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She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season
P. G. Wodehouse
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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
P. G. Wodehouse
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You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.
P. G. Wodehouse
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A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Just another proof, of course, of what I often say - it takes all sorts to make a world.
P. G. Wodehouse