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To say that New York came up to its advance billing would be the baldest of understatements. Being there was like being in heaven without going to all the bother and expense of dying.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Going
Expenses
Would
Advance
Like
Bother
York
Dying
Came
Billing
Heaven
Understatement
Without
Expense

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-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter
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Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
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Confidence, of course is an admirable asset to a golfer, but it should be an unspoken confidence. It is perilous to put it into speech. The gods of golf lie in wait to chasten the presumptious.
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Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.
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It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.
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There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.
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One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
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It's not that I don't trust you, Dunstable, it's simply that I don't trust you.
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There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.
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Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
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Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
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I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
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In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.
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She's one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God's daisy chain, that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen, and that every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born, which, as we know, is not the case. She's a drooper.
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I don't want to seem always to be criticizing your methods of voice production, Jeeves, I said, but I must inform you that that 'Well, sir' of yours is in many respects fully as unpleasant as your 'Indeed, sir?
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I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.
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The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
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It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
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To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.
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