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It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Dog
Loses
Head
Funny
Fatal
Immediately
Starts
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well. ~ Bertram Bertie Wooster
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Confidence, of course is an admirable asset to a golfer, but it should be an unspoken confidence. It is perilous to put it into speech. The gods of golf lie in wait to chasten the presumptious.
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It is not the being paid money in advance that jars the sensitive artist: it is the having to work.
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As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.
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He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do.
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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
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They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke.
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This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
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They pointed out that the friendship between the two artists had always been a byword or whatever you called it. A well-read Egg summed it up by saying that they were like Thingummy and what's-his-name.
P. G. Wodehouse
No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
P. G. Wodehouse
Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
P. G. Wodehouse
Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.
P. G. Wodehouse
In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.
P. G. Wodehouse
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. Wodehouse
Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.
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What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
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A roll and butter and a small coffee seemed the only things on the list that hadn't been specially prepared by the nastier-minded members of the Borgia family for people they had a particular grudge against, so I chose them.
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