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The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Way
Golf
Men
Walk
Life
Walks
Cloven
True
Hoof
Doe
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Character
Quickly
Play
Findings
Really
Finding
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P. G. Wodehouse
You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.
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But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.
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She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.
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Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
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Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.
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the supply of the milk of human kindness was short by several gallons
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To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.
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Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit. Thank you, miss. I am glad to have given satisfaction.
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I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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But what is the love life of newts, if you boil it right down? Didn't you tell me once that they just waggled their tails at one another in the mating season?''Quite correct.' I shrugged my shoulders. 'Well all right, if they like it. But it's not my idea of molten passion.
P. G. Wodehouse
...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.
P. G. Wodehouse
The spine, and I do not attempt to conceal the fact, had become soluble, in the last degree.
P. G. Wodehouse
Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
P. G. Wodehouse
Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
P. G. Wodehouse
His whole aspect was that of a man who has unexpectedly been struck by lightning.
P. G. Wodehouse
They pointed out that the friendship between the two artists had always been a byword or whatever you called it. A well-read Egg summed it up by saying that they were like Thingummy and what's-his-name.
P. G. Wodehouse
The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.
P. G. Wodehouse
Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
P. G. Wodehouse
