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You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Girl
Paralysis
Seems
Cords
Take
Vocal
Right
Humorous
Paralyses
Mean
Girls
Cauliflower
Something
Personality
Stuffing
Seem
Reduces
Brain
Contents
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
P. G. Wodehouse
She's one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God's daisy chain, that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen, and that every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born, which, as we know, is not the case. She's a drooper.
P. G. Wodehouse
One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hoursĀ“ sleep each night - I cannot recall at the moment how many - made a man something which for the time being has slipped my memory.
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It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
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A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.
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I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.
P. G. Wodehouse
His whole aspect was that of a man who has unexpectedly been struck by lightning.
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I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!
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As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.
P. G. Wodehouse
[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.
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One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?' The mood will pass, sir.
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I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
P. G. Wodehouse
It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P. G. Wodehouse
A lesser moustache, under the impact of that quick, agonised expulsion of breath, would have worked loose at the roots.
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Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P. G. Wodehouse
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
P. G. Wodehouse
Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress round it, thus enabling me to avoid the blood, sweat and tears inseparable from an author's life.
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Now, I'm a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their boots, the smell of their legs, and the sound of their voices. It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging.
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They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke.
P. G. Wodehouse