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And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Brain
Girl
Two
Need
Enough
Marries
Needs
Exact
Brains
Quantity

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As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
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Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.
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No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.
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you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?
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In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.
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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
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My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
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I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
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When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.
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I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
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I expect I shall feel better after tea.
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What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?
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You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.
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A roll and butter and a small coffee seemed the only things on the list that hadn't been specially prepared by the nastier-minded members of the Borgia family for people they had a particular grudge against, so I chose them.
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...it has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking.
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I never was interested in politics. I'm quite unable to work up any kind of belligerent feeling. Just as I'm about to feel belligerent about some country I meet a decent sort of chap. We go out together and lose any fighting thoughts or feelings.
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You agreee with me that the situation is a lulu? Certainly, a somewhat sharp crisis in your affairs would appear to have been precipitated, Sir.
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Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she turns away. But it happens sometimes that, if we put our hand in hers with the humble trust of a little child, she will have pity on us, and not fail us in our hour of need.
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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do.
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