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What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Things
Lad
Two
Different
Going
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This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
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I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well. ~ Bertram Bertie Wooster
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I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
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Mr Howard Saxby, literary agent, was knitting a sock. He knitted a good deal, he would tell you if you asked him, to keep himself from smoking, adding that he also smoked a good deal to keep himself from knitting.
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I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.
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I clutched at the brow. The mice in my interior had now got up an informal dance and were buck-and-winging all over the place like a bunch of Nijinskys.
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What ho! I said. What ho! said Motty. What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.
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He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
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I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.
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Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
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There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
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Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?
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I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.
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A lesser moustache, under the impact of that quick, agonised expulsion of breath, would have worked loose at the roots.
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He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
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Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
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A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.
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