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What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Things
Lad
Two
Different
Going
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
I expect I shall feel better after tea.
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Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
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He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
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Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
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There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.
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From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.
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A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
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Flowers are happy things.
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...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
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One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
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I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
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As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt halt.
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It is not the being paid money in advance that jars the sensitive artist: it is the having to work.
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She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.
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A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.
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I laughed derisively. For goodness' sake, don't start gargling now. This is serious. I was laughing. Oh, were you? Well, I'm glad to see you taking it in this merry spirit. Derisively, I explained.
P. G. Wodehouse
To say that New York came up to its advance billing would be the baldest of understatements. Being there was like being in heaven without going to all the bother and expense of dying.
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Birds, except when broiled and in the society of a cold bottle, bored him stiff.
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