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What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Two
Different
Going
Things
Lad
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Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.
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There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
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The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
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It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.
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What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
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To say that New York came up to its advance billing would be the baldest of understatements. Being there was like being in heaven without going to all the bother and expense of dying.
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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
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It is not the being paid money in advance that jars the sensitive artist: it is the having to work.
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It's not that I don't trust you, Dunstable, it's simply that I don't trust you.
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If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.
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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
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She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.
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One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?' The mood will pass, sir.
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There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
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In every romance you have to budget for the occasional dust-up.
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I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
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