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What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Things
Lad
Two
Different
Going
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Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous.
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the supply of the milk of human kindness was short by several gallons
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Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
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I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.
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In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.
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Lady Glossip: Mr. Wooster, how would you support a wife? Bertie Wooster: Well, I suppose it depends on who's wife it was, a little gentle pressure beneath the elbow while crossing a busy street usually fits the bill.
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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
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Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.
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Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.
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It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
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There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.
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It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.
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What ho! I said. What ho! said Motty. What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.
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Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
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you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?
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My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
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Now, I'm a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their boots, the smell of their legs, and the sound of their voices. It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging.
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She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
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The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.
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