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...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Best
Motives
Every
Intend
Men
Occurred
Motive
Minute
Inscribed
Minutes
Epitaph
Simple
Tombstone
Born
Acted

More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

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I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.
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Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
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It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.
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Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.
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Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.
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It is the glorious uncertainty of golf that makes it the game it is.
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She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
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Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she turns away. But it happens sometimes that, if we put our hand in hers with the humble trust of a little child, she will have pity on us, and not fail us in our hour of need.
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
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It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
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You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.
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The spine, and I do not attempt to conceal the fact, had become soluble, in the last degree.
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It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
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He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
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In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.
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Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous.
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?' The mood will pass, sir.
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Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
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