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...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Simple
Tombstone
Born
Acted
Best
Motives
Every
Intend
Men
Occurred
Motive
Minute
Inscribed
Minutes
Epitaph

More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

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As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
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It was one of those days you sometimes get latish in the autumn when the sun beams, the birds toot, and there is a bracing tang in the air that sends the blood beetling briskly through the veins.
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
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My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
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It was a morning when all nature shouted Fore! The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip shots holed and brassies landing squarely on the meat. The fairway, as yet unscarred by the irons of a hundred dubs, smiled greenly up at the azure sky.
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She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
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Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
P. G. Wodehouse
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I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.
P. G. Wodehouse
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The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves
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-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter
P. G. Wodehouse
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There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.
P. G. Wodehouse
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He groaned slightly and winced like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
P. G. Wodehouse
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This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
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What ho! I said. What ho! said Motty. What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.
P. G. Wodehouse
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?' The mood will pass, sir.
P. G. Wodehouse