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But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Bertie
Relative
Instance
Everything
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck.
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...it has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking.
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It is not mere technical skill that makes a man a golfer, it is the golfing soul.
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The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.
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When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.
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The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.
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I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves
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As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.
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As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
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It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
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The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.
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A lesser moustache, under the impact of that quick, agonised expulsion of breath, would have worked loose at the roots.
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If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
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She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
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It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.
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The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
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Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
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I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.
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There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.
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