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It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Find
Hunts
Ever
Lean
Firsts
Runs
Haystack
First
Looking
Darn
Giving
Whether
Stack
Thing
Funny
Needle
Things
Running
Needles
Time
Give
Hunt
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
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There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.
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However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck.
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At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
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Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress round it, thus enabling me to avoid the blood, sweat and tears inseparable from an author's life.
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you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?
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No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.
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It was one of those days you sometimes get latish in the autumn when the sun beams, the birds toot, and there is a bracing tang in the air that sends the blood beetling briskly through the veins.
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What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?
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It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
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A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.
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Lady Glossip: Mr. Wooster, how would you support a wife? Bertie Wooster: Well, I suppose it depends on who's wife it was, a little gentle pressure beneath the elbow while crossing a busy street usually fits the bill.
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The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.
P. G. Wodehouse
...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
P. G. Wodehouse
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
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When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.
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What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
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I clutched at the brow. The mice in my interior had now got up an informal dance and were buck-and-winging all over the place like a bunch of Nijinskys.
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I turned on the pillow with a little moan, and at this juncture Jeeves entered with the vital oolong. I clutched at it like a drowning man at a straw hat.
P. G. Wodehouse
Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
P. G. Wodehouse
