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I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Wits
Matches
Wit
Pity
Shrimp
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.
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Some time ago, he said, --how long it seems! -- I remember saying to a young friend of mine of the name of Spiller, 'Comrade Spiller, never confuse the unusual with the impossible.' It is my guiding rule in life.
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I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.
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...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
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A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.
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It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.
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I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
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...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
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What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?
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I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.
P. G. Wodehouse
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
P. G. Wodehouse
That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P. G. Wodehouse
One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.
P. G. Wodehouse
If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P. G. Wodehouse
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. Wodehouse
As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.
P. G. Wodehouse
