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Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Mind
Like
Restaurant
Soup
Restaurants
Minds
Poor
Left
Better

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It is not the being paid money in advance that jars the sensitive artist: it is the having to work.
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Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous.
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...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.
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Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.
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Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
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It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
P. G. Wodehouse
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?' The mood will pass, sir.
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I don't want to seem always to be criticizing your methods of voice production, Jeeves, I said, but I must inform you that that 'Well, sir' of yours is in many respects fully as unpleasant as your 'Indeed, sir?
P. G. Wodehouse
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Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
P. G. Wodehouse
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When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I should think it extremely improbable that anyone ever wrote for money. Naturally, when he has written something, he wants to get as much for it as he can, but that is a very different thing from writing for money.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
P. G. Wodehouse
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You agreee with me that the situation is a lulu? Certainly, a somewhat sharp crisis in your affairs would appear to have been precipitated, Sir.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress round it, thus enabling me to avoid the blood, sweat and tears inseparable from an author's life.
P. G. Wodehouse
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But what is the love life of newts, if you boil it right down? Didn't you tell me once that they just waggled their tails at one another in the mating season?''Quite correct.' I shrugged my shoulders. 'Well all right, if they like it. But it's not my idea of molten passion.
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I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well. ~ Bertram Bertie Wooster
P. G. Wodehouse
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Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. Wodehouse