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Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Problem
Never
Men
Incalculable
Unfathomable
Solve
Mystery
Hope
Woman
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
Lady Glossip: Mr. Wooster, how would you support a wife? Bertie Wooster: Well, I suppose it depends on who's wife it was, a little gentle pressure beneath the elbow while crossing a busy street usually fits the bill.
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[He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions.
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There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
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They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke.
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It's curious how, when you're in love, you yearn to go about doing acts of kindness to everybody.
P. G. Wodehouse
When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.
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I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.
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It is the glorious uncertainty of golf that makes it the game it is.
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I should think it extremely improbable that anyone ever wrote for money. Naturally, when he has written something, he wants to get as much for it as he can, but that is a very different thing from writing for money.
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There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
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She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.
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Now, I'm a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their boots, the smell of their legs, and the sound of their voices. It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging.
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My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
P. G. Wodehouse
From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.
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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
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While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. Wodehouse
There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.
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He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
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It was one of those days you sometimes get latish in the autumn when the sun beams, the birds toot, and there is a bracing tang in the air that sends the blood beetling briskly through the veins.
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