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No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Good
Wodehouse
Spit
Novelists
Anywhere
Except

More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

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It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.
P. G. Wodehouse
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?' The mood will pass, sir.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
P. G. Wodehouse
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The only thing that prevented a father's love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It was a morning when all nature shouted Fore! The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip shots holed and brassies landing squarely on the meat. The fairway, as yet unscarred by the irons of a hundred dubs, smiled greenly up at the azure sky.
P. G. Wodehouse
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What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?
P. G. Wodehouse
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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
P. G. Wodehouse
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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Just another proof, of course, of what I often say - it takes all sorts to make a world.
P. G. Wodehouse
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If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P. G. Wodehouse
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He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do.
P. G. Wodehouse
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To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. Wodehouse
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You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I never was interested in politics. I'm quite unable to work up any kind of belligerent feeling. Just as I'm about to feel belligerent about some country I meet a decent sort of chap. We go out together and lose any fighting thoughts or feelings.
P. G. Wodehouse
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He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.
P. G. Wodehouse
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He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommé, and the dinner-gong due any moment.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.
P. G. Wodehouse
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[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.
P. G. Wodehouse