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It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Remorse
Brings
Regret
Crime

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When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.
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I never was interested in politics. I'm quite unable to work up any kind of belligerent feeling. Just as I'm about to feel belligerent about some country I meet a decent sort of chap. We go out together and lose any fighting thoughts or feelings.
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She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season
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you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?
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There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
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She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
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Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
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It is not the being paid money in advance that jars the sensitive artist: it is the having to work.
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I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
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While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
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It was a morning when all nature shouted Fore! The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip shots holed and brassies landing squarely on the meat. The fairway, as yet unscarred by the irons of a hundred dubs, smiled greenly up at the azure sky.
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She's one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God's daisy chain, that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen, and that every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born, which, as we know, is not the case. She's a drooper.
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I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.
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It is the glorious uncertainty of golf that makes it the game it is.
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You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.
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I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.
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The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.
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To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.
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I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves
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