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...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Feelings
Lemon
Book
Lemons
Always
Picked
Time
Mines
Mine
Garden
Feeling
Literature
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
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In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.
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That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
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Dark hair fell in a sweep over his forehead. He looked like a man who would write vers libre, as indeed he did.
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Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
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In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I’ve known him to do it’ ‘Do what?’ ‘Not strike lambs
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Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.
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Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?
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There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.
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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
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He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommé, and the dinner-gong due any moment.
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
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But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.
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In every romance you have to budget for the occasional dust-up.
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I don't want to seem always to be criticizing your methods of voice production, Jeeves, I said, but I must inform you that that 'Well, sir' of yours is in many respects fully as unpleasant as your 'Indeed, sir?
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Now, I'm a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their boots, the smell of their legs, and the sound of their voices. It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging.
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One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
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But what is the love life of newts, if you boil it right down? Didn't you tell me once that they just waggled their tails at one another in the mating season?''Quite correct.' I shrugged my shoulders. 'Well all right, if they like it. But it's not my idea of molten passion.
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Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
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