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Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Either
Everything
Fattening
Life
Wisely
Observed
Immoral
Illegal
Fun
Somebody
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.
P. G. Wodehouse
Just another proof, of course, of what I often say - it takes all sorts to make a world.
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A roll and butter and a small coffee seemed the only things on the list that hadn't been specially prepared by the nastier-minded members of the Borgia family for people they had a particular grudge against, so I chose them.
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I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.
P. G. Wodehouse
His whole aspect was that of a man who has unexpectedly been struck by lightning.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.
P. G. Wodehouse
As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
P. G. Wodehouse
An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.
P. G. Wodehouse
She's one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God's daisy chain, that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen, and that every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born, which, as we know, is not the case. She's a drooper.
P. G. Wodehouse
A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
P. G. Wodehouse
Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
P. G. Wodehouse
[He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions.
P. G. Wodehouse
In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I’ve known him to do it’ ‘Do what?’ ‘Not strike lambs
P. G. Wodehouse
Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
P. G. Wodehouse
I love writing. I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing.
P. G. Wodehouse
There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.
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It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
P. G. Wodehouse
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
P. G. Wodehouse
