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Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse

More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

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I expect I shall feel better after tea.
P. G. Wodehouse
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She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.
P. G. Wodehouse
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The spine, and I do not attempt to conceal the fact, had become soluble, in the last degree.
P. G. Wodehouse
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He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommé, and the dinner-gong due any moment.
P. G. Wodehouse
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There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.
P. G. Wodehouse
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To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It is not mere technical skill that makes a man a golfer, it is the golfing soul.
P. G. Wodehouse
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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. Wodehouse
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I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
P. G. Wodehouse
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I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
P. G. Wodehouse
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...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.
P. G. Wodehouse
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However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck.
P. G. Wodehouse
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Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
P. G. Wodehouse
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It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
P. G. Wodehouse
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To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.
P. G. Wodehouse
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...it has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking.
P. G. Wodehouse