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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Would
Undertaker
Deceived
Experienced
Depression
Appearance
Sight
Started
Many
Embalming
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
P. G. Wodehouse
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
P. G. Wodehouse
Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
P. G. Wodehouse
One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.
P. G. Wodehouse
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
P. G. Wodehouse
But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.
P. G. Wodehouse
From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.
P. G. Wodehouse
Confidence, of course is an admirable asset to a golfer, but it should be an unspoken confidence. It is perilous to put it into speech. The gods of golf lie in wait to chasten the presumptious.
P. G. Wodehouse
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P. G. Wodehouse
Birds, except when broiled and in the society of a cold bottle, bored him stiff.
P. G. Wodehouse
...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
P. G. Wodehouse
Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous.
P. G. Wodehouse
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. Wodehouse
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.
P. G. Wodehouse
I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
P. G. Wodehouse
They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke.
P. G. Wodehouse
I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.
P. G. Wodehouse
[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.
P. G. Wodehouse
He groaned slightly and winced like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch.
P. G. Wodehouse
Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
P. G. Wodehouse
