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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Policeman
Policemen
Depressed
Whenever
Kill
Feeling
Feelings
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
P. G. Wodehouse
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.
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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
P. G. Wodehouse
His eyes were rolling in their sockets, and his face had taken on the colour and expression of a devout tomato. I could see he loved like a thousand bricks.
P. G. Wodehouse
A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
P. G. Wodehouse
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
P. G. Wodehouse
Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
P. G. Wodehouse
That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P. G. Wodehouse
As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.
P. G. Wodehouse
Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
P. G. Wodehouse
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
P. G. Wodehouse
I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves
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[He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions.
P. G. Wodehouse
Now, I'm a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their boots, the smell of their legs, and the sound of their voices. It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging.
P. G. Wodehouse
I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.
P. G. Wodehouse
you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?
P. G. Wodehouse
I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.
P. G. Wodehouse
I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!
P. G. Wodehouse