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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Policeman
Policemen
Depressed
Whenever
Kill
Feeling
Feelings
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Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.
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...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
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Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.
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I expect I shall feel better after tea.
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His whole aspect was that of a man who has unexpectedly been struck by lightning.
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Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
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There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
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As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt halt.
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I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.
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Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
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-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter
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A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.
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And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
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I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.
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What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?
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You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.
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To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
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It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.
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But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.
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I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
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