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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Feeling
Feelings
Policeman
Policemen
Depressed
Whenever
Kill
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
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Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.
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In every romance you have to budget for the occasional dust-up.
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Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
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I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves
P. G. Wodehouse
I clutched at the brow. The mice in my interior had now got up an informal dance and were buck-and-winging all over the place like a bunch of Nijinskys.
P. G. Wodehouse
One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.
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As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
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Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
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Routine is the death to heroism.
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If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.
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To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.
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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
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It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.
P. G. Wodehouse
Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she turns away. But it happens sometimes that, if we put our hand in hers with the humble trust of a little child, she will have pity on us, and not fail us in our hour of need.
P. G. Wodehouse
I love writing. I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing.
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It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
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There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P. G. Wodehouse
It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.
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I don't want to seem always to be criticizing your methods of voice production, Jeeves, I said, but I must inform you that that 'Well, sir' of yours is in many respects fully as unpleasant as your 'Indeed, sir?
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