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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Policemen
Depressed
Whenever
Kill
Feeling
Feelings
Policeman
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
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Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.
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The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
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What ho! I said. What ho! said Motty. What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.
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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
P. G. Wodehouse
Just another proof, of course, of what I often say - it takes all sorts to make a world.
P. G. Wodehouse
I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.
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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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I clutched at the brow. The mice in my interior had now got up an informal dance and were buck-and-winging all over the place like a bunch of Nijinskys.
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In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.
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Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
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Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
P. G. Wodehouse
There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.
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I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
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Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons.
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Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.
P. G. Wodehouse
You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.
P. G. Wodehouse
One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.
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I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.
P. G. Wodehouse
The exquisite code of politeness of the Woosters prevented me clipping her one on the ear-hole, but I would have given a shilling to be able to do it. There seemed to me something deliberately fat-headed in the way she persisted in missing the gist.
P. G. Wodehouse
