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Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Policemen
Depressed
Whenever
Kill
Feeling
Feelings
Policeman
More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
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Some time ago, he said, --how long it seems! -- I remember saying to a young friend of mine of the name of Spiller, 'Comrade Spiller, never confuse the unusual with the impossible.' It is my guiding rule in life.
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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
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In every romance you have to budget for the occasional dust-up.
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As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
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One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.
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Routine is the death to heroism.
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Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
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Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous.
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They pointed out that the friendship between the two artists had always been a byword or whatever you called it. A well-read Egg summed it up by saying that they were like Thingummy and what's-his-name.
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The exquisite code of politeness of the Woosters prevented me clipping her one on the ear-hole, but I would have given a shilling to be able to do it. There seemed to me something deliberately fat-headed in the way she persisted in missing the gist.
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Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher, nobler things than love.
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Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
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One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hoursĀ“ sleep each night - I cannot recall at the moment how many - made a man something which for the time being has slipped my memory.
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I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.
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The only thing that prevented a father's love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg.
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I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.
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There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
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