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I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.

P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
Fall
Hundreds
Found
Fellow
Fellows
Library
Oriental
Paper
Stabbed
Design
Knife
Sort
Knives
Causes
Suspicion

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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
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You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.
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Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
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Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.
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His whole aspect was that of a man who has unexpectedly been struck by lightning.
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
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There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.
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At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
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What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.
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[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.
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A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
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I never was interested in politics. I'm quite unable to work up any kind of belligerent feeling. Just as I'm about to feel belligerent about some country I meet a decent sort of chap. We go out together and lose any fighting thoughts or feelings.
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Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.
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I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
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The exquisite code of politeness of the Woosters prevented me clipping her one on the ear-hole, but I would have given a shilling to be able to do it. There seemed to me something deliberately fat-headed in the way she persisted in missing the gist.
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Just another proof, of course, of what I often say - it takes all sorts to make a world.
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Some time ago, he said, --how long it seems! -- I remember saying to a young friend of mine of the name of Spiller, 'Comrade Spiller, never confuse the unusual with the impossible.' It is my guiding rule in life.
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What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?
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As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
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