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There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.
P. G. Wodehouse
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P. G. Wodehouse
Age: 93 †
Born: 1881
Born: January 1
Died: 1975
Died: January 1
Humorist
Librettist
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse
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More quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.
P. G. Wodehouse
It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.
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Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
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Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.
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It is not mere technical skill that makes a man a golfer, it is the golfing soul.
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I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.
P. G. Wodehouse
From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.
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I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.
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Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.
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There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
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What ho! I said. What ho! said Motty. What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! What ho! After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.
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You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.
P. G. Wodehouse
They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke.
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It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
P. G. Wodehouse
I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.
P. G. Wodehouse
But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.
P. G. Wodehouse
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.
P. G. Wodehouse
It's not that I don't trust you, Dunstable, it's simply that I don't trust you.
P. G. Wodehouse
One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.
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