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I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

Oscar Levant

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Oscar Levant
Age: 65 †
Born: 1906
Born: December 26
Died: 1972
Died: August 14
Actor
Composer
Film Actor
Jazz Musician
Pianist
Stage Actor
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Thrown
Mental
Patient
Funny
Patients
Hospital
Depressing
Hospitals

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I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
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When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
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My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.
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Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
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Happiness isn't something you experience it's something you remember.
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I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive.
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Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
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Debbie Reynolds is as wistful as an iron foundry.
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
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You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)
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My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture that was before she became a virgin.
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In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.
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I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.
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It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.
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So little time and so little to do.
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When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.
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The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
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Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.
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I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.
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An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.
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