Quote

I was afraid to board a streetcar because of the conductor I was afraid to enter the Kabuki Theater for fear of the usherettes standing along the sides of the red-carpeted staircase at the main entrance I was afraid to go into a restaurant because I was intimidated by the waiters furtively hovering behind me waiting for my plate to be emptied.

Osamu Dazai

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Osamu Dazai
Age: 38 †
Born: 1909
Born: June 19
Died: 1948
Died: June 13
Author
Novelist
Writer
Tsushima Shuji
Afraid
Awkward
Entrances
Behinds
Boards
Waiter
Streetcar
Along
Restaurants
Conductor
Waiters
Behind
Enter
Intimidated
Staircase
Sides
Red
Plate
Staircases
Waiting
Main
Plates
Emptied
Fear
Theater
Restaurant
Hovering
Standing
Board
Entrance

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Whenever I was asked what I wanted my first impulse was to answer Nothing. The thought went through my mind that it didn't make any difference, that nothing was going to make me happy.
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Labeled a delinquent. That's the only kind of label I want to be crucified under.
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Any man who criticizes my suicide and passes judgment on me with an expression of superiority, declaring (without offering the least help) that I should have gone on living my full complement of days, is assuredly a prodigy among men quite capable of tranquilly urging the Emperor to open a fruit shop.
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I have often felt that I would find it more complicated, troublesome and unpleasant to ascertain the feelings by which a woman lives than to plumb the innermost thoughts of an earthworm.
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The world, after all, was still a place of bottomless horror. It was by no means a place of childlike simplicity where everything could be settled by a simple then-and-there decision.
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Last year nothing happened The year before nothing happened And the year before that nothing happened.
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Is it not true that no two human beings understand anything whatsoever about each other, that those who consider themselves bosom friends may be utterly mistaken about their fellow and, failing to realize this sad truth throughout a lifetime, weep when they read in the newspapers about his death?
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I drink out of desperation. Life is too dreary to endure. The misery, loneliness, crampedness - they're heartbreaking.[...] What feelings do you suppose a man has when he realizes that he will never know happiness or glory as long as he lives? Hard work. All that amounts to is food for the wild beasts of hunger.
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As for love . . . no, having once written that word I can write nothing more.
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To be a friend of the weak-that is the artist's point of departure as well as his ultimate goal.
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Virtue and vice are concepts invented by human beings, words for a morality which human beings arbitrarily devised.
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All I feel are the assaults of apprehension and terror at the thought that I am the only one who is entirely unlike the rest. It is almost impossible for me to converse with other people. What should I talk about, how should I say it? - I don't know.
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A true artist is an ugly man.
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The real things are apt to be deviant.
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Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.Everything passes.That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.Everything passes.
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What is society but an individual? [] The ocean is not society it is individuals. This was how I managed to gain a modicum of freedom from my terror at the illusion of the ocean called the world.
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I want to spend my time with people who don't look to be respected. But such good people won't want to spend their time with me.
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Now even if I die, no one will be so grieved as to do himself bodily harm.
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In my case such an expression as 'to be fallen for' or even 'to be loved' is not in the least appropriate perhaps it describes the situation more accurately to say that I was 'looked after.
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What did he mean by society? The plural of human beings?
Osamu Dazai