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The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet.

Orson Scott Card

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Orson Scott Card
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: August 24
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Richland
Washington
Brian Green
Frederick Bliss
Byron Walley
Scott Richards
Dinah Kirkham
P.Q. Gump
Byron S. Walley
Mastered
Toilet
Elimination
Toilets
Process
Reason

More quotes by Orson Scott Card

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I have too many secrets. For all these years I've been a speaker for the dead, uncovering secrets and helping people to live in the light of truth. Now I no longer tell anyone half of what I know, because if I told the whole truth there would be fear, hatred, brutality, murder, war.
Orson Scott Card
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It's the middle class that feels the luxury of being able to have causes.
Orson Scott Card
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I always tell the truth about what I’m selling, and then nobody buys it.
Orson Scott Card
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Personal humiliation was painful. Humiliation of one's family was much worse. Humiliation of one's social status was agony to bear. But humiliation of one's nation was the most excruciating of human miseries.
Orson Scott Card
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In philosophy class I think we finally decided that 'good' is an infinitely recursive term - it can't be defined except in terms of itself. Good is good because it's better than bad, though why it's better to be good than bad depends on how you define good, and on and on.
Orson Scott Card
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Twisted and perverse are the ways of the human mind, Jane intoned. Pinocchio was such a dolt to try to become a real boy. He was much better off with a wooden head.
Orson Scott Card
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I merely observe that all living things are manipulated. As long as there is a will, it is bent and twisted constantly. Only the dead are allowed the luxury of freedom, and then only because they want nothing, and therefore can't be thwarted.
Orson Scott Card
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If you lay a hand on me I'll ram your testicles so far up inside your abdomen it'll take a heart surgeon to get them out.
Orson Scott Card
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It's simple. Nothing exists except in relation to something else.
Orson Scott Card
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There's always hope... even when there isn't faith. And sometimes, without hope or faith, there must be charity.
Orson Scott Card
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I doubt that America will come to Europe again. You'll be on your own against militant Islam.
Orson Scott Card
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Humanity does not ask us to be happy. It merely asks us to be brilliant on its behalf.
Orson Scott Card
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It has been my experience that the better a man you are, the more folks there are who resent you for it, and find occasion to get angry at you no matter how kindly meant your deeds may be.
Orson Scott Card
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People love to hear the brag of the local boy, because they want him to be great, but the foreigner must deny that he has any outstanding virtue - this is what will endear him to the locals.
Orson Scott Card
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My own feeling is that human happiness is a very random thing, and bestows itself willy-nilly, and there's not much deserving about the matter.
Orson Scott Card
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...the thing with brothers is, you're supposed to take turns being the keeper. Sometimes you get to sit down and be the brother who is kept.
Orson Scott Card
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Please don't disillusion me. I haven't had breakfast yet.
Orson Scott Card
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You frighten me, when you say there isn't time. I don't see why. Christians have been expecting the imminent end of the world for millennia. But it keeps not ending. So far, so good.
Orson Scott Card
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With life. Rooter says that life is how God gives purpose to the universe.
Orson Scott Card
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Let's fly away and live forever
Orson Scott Card