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The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Tests
Dog
Full
Shove
State
Wet
Truth
Stretch
Also
Proved
States
Actual
Love
Test

More quotes by Ogden Nash

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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
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Here's a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, with the sparkle of beer and wine May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends, than the foam at the top of the stein. Then here's to the heartening wassail, wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more
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Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
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Professional men, they have no cares whatever happens, they get theirs.
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Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?
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Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!
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They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'
Ogden Nash
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Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer.
Ogden Nash
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It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictators all, and I recommend to you this moral: In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel.
Ogden Nash
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Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
Ogden Nash
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When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
Ogden Nash
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Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
Ogden Nash
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Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor.
Ogden Nash