Quote

The oboe's a horn made of wood. I'd play you a tune if I could, But the reeds are a pain, And the fingering's insane. It's the ill wind that no one blows good.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Pain
Tune
Play
Wood
Oboe
Made
Tunes
Fingering
Good
Ill
Oboes
Insane
Reeds
Woods
Horn
Blow
Horns
Wind
Blows

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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.
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The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.
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A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
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I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.
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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
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Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
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Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
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There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'
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So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
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The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.
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The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.
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One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.
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When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food.
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