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The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Physician
Practicing
Lout
Lawyers
Morticians
Physicians
Foyers
Lawyer
Ushered
Alive
Certified
Lord
Humblest
Find
Noblest

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If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.
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Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
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Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.
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To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.
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I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
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Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.
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Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.
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O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts, That all sin is divided into two parts. One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important
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The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!
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Professional men, they have no cares whatever happens, they get theirs.
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You can take it as understood, That your luck changes only if it's good.
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Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
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Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
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Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
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One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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