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The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares Whatever happens, they get theirs.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Gets
Preacher
Whatever
Cares
Born
Marry
Happens
Doctor
Care
Professional
Much
Lawyer
Lurks
Men
Doctors
Clerks
Carry
Costly

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Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
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Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.
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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
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In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.
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Women would rather be right than reasonable.
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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
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And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
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But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them, With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.
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A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.
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He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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Don't over-analyze your marriage it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.
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