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The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares Whatever happens, they get theirs.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Whatever
Cares
Born
Marry
Happens
Doctor
Care
Professional
Much
Lawyer
Lurks
Men
Doctors
Clerks
Carry
Costly
Gets
Preacher

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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
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Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor.
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He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples.
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When there are monsters there are miracles.
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Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.
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Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.
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When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.
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When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food.
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
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Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!
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So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
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Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.
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Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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Good wine needs no bush, And perhaps products that people really want Need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
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Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer
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