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I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Rocks
Humor
Leave
Funny
Men
Seabirds
Conscientious
Throw

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Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends
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One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.
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Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.
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Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, time up! My little dog must die, And lie in dust with Hector's pup I So, presently, must I.
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Professional men, they have no cares whatever happens, they get theirs.
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The song of canaries Never varies, And when they're moulting They're pretty revolting.
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Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.
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There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.
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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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In the world of mules there are no rules.
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