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I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Humor
Leave
Funny
Men
Seabirds
Conscientious
Throw
Rocks

More quotes by Ogden Nash

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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
Ogden Nash
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
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Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
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When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.
Ogden Nash
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Snow is all right while it is snowing it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
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The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.
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Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
Ogden Nash
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Ogden Nash
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Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Ogden Nash
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The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
Ogden Nash
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The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.
Ogden Nash
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.
Ogden Nash
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Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.
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A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.
Ogden Nash