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I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Leave
Funny
Men
Seabirds
Conscientious
Throw
Rocks
Humor

More quotes by Ogden Nash

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Professional men, they have no cares whatever happens, they get theirs.
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Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.
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Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.
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Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.
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Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
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No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.
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Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.
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I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
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Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.
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The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
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Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
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Good wine needs no bush, And perhaps products that people really want Need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
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Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?
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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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A bit of talcum Is always walcum.
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A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.
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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Ogden Nash