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In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Quarrel
Quarrels
Takes
Real
Make
Life

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Smallpox is natural vaccine ain't.
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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
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Professional men, they have no cares whatever happens, they get theirs.
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When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
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At another year I would not boggle Except that when I jog I joggle.
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Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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When there are monsters there are miracles.
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Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
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O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
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This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
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The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
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Women would rather be right than reasonable.
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I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
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Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.
Ogden Nash