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It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictators all, and I recommend to you this moral: In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Duty
Dictators
Takes
Quarrel
Moral
Inform
Women
Recommend
Real
Gentlemen
Make
Quarrels
Life
Dictator
Gentleman

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He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more
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Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
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Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
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Snow is all right while it is snowing it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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The oboe's a horn made of wood. I'd play you a tune if I could, But the reeds are a pain, And the fingering's insane. It's the ill wind that no one blows good.
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The old men know when an old man dies.
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Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.
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So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
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Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
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Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts, That all sin is divided into two parts. One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important
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One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
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Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?
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The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.
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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
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