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The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.
Ogden Nash
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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Lord
Earn
Less
Hasn
Keep
Lays
Soul
Wake
Take
Pray
Praying
Abracadabra
Taxes
Collector
Sleep
Collectors
More quotes by Ogden Nash
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
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Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer
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Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.
Ogden Nash
When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
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Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
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We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.
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But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them, With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash
Smallpox is natural vaccine ain't.
Ogden Nash
Don't over-analyze your marriage it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash
At another year I would not boggle Except that when I jog I joggle.
Ogden Nash