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Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
Ogden Nash
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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
George
Appointments
Daily
Pencil
Endure
Woe
Office
Pencils
Today
Flies
Woes
Take
Pens
Typewriter
Men
List
Endures
Lists
Typewriters
More quotes by Ogden Nash
Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
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In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.
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In the world of mules there are no rules.
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Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends
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Professional men, they have no cares whatever happens, they get theirs.
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The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
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Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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The old men know when an old man dies.
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Don't over-analyze your marriage it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.
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Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.
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A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.
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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
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But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them, With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.
Ogden Nash