Quote

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Cause
Remarked
Vision
Dictates
Sports
Umpires
Decision
Abuse
Causes
Pick
Eyes
Picks
Eye
Surprise
Umpire
Heart
Whose
Derision

More quotes by Ogden Nash

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Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
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To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.
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You can take it as understood, That your luck changes only if it's good.
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O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.
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I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
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I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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One thing that literature would be greatly the better for Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and>metaphor.
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Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.
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And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
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The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
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I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
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Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.
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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
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