Quote

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Vision
Dictates
Sports
Umpires
Decision
Abuse
Causes
Pick
Eyes
Picks
Eye
Surprise
Umpire
Heart
Whose
Derision
Cause
Remarked

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Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer.
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This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
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I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.
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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.
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The oboe's a horn made of wood. I'd play you a tune if I could, But the reeds are a pain, And the fingering's insane. It's the ill wind that no one blows good.
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
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Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
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Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
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One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.
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Smallpox is natural vaccine ain't.
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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Good wine needs no bush, And perhaps products that people really want Need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
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To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.
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I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
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