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The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
Ogden Nash
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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Best
Teeth
Men
Legs
Dog
Fronts
Front
Friend
Tail
Four
Underneath
Ends
Tails
More quotes by Ogden Nash
Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash
Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
Ogden Nash
Passivity can be a provoking modus operandi Consider the Empire and Gandhi.
Ogden Nash
Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker.
Ogden Nash
A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.
Ogden Nash
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Ogden Nash
Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Ogden Nash
A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.
Ogden Nash
I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.
Ogden Nash
The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.
Ogden Nash
Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
Ogden Nash
The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
Ogden Nash
Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.
Ogden Nash
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
Ogden Nash
One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
Ogden Nash
When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food.
Ogden Nash
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Ogden Nash
Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
Ogden Nash
The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares Whatever happens, they get theirs.
Ogden Nash
There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.
Ogden Nash