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To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Taste
Best
Depending
Toms
Suits
Dog
Training
Whose

More quotes by Ogden Nash

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Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our children.
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I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
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Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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A lady is known by the product she endorses.
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The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares Whatever happens, they get theirs.
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There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'
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Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.
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A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.
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So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
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There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees.
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When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
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One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.
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When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food.
Ogden Nash
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Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
Ogden Nash
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Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.
Ogden Nash
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Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
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There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.
Ogden Nash
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Passivity can be a provoking modus operandi Consider the Empire and Gandhi.
Ogden Nash