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To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Taste
Best
Depending
Toms
Suits
Dog
Training
Whose

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Smallpox is natural vaccine ain't.
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The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
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Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
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Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.
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And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
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Women would rather be right than reasonable.
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.
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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
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Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our children.
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The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
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Snow is all right while it is snowing it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.
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One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them, With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.
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Celery, raw, Develops the jaw
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It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictators all, and I recommend to you this moral: In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel.
Ogden Nash