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Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Keep
Settle
Time
Settling
Couldn
Instead
Differences
Wonder
Maybe
War
Wondering

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The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two Or else the other way around I'm never sure. Are you?
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.
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The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
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Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.
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Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our children.
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
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There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees.
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker.
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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
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He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples.
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The old men know when an old man dies.
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Don't over-analyze your marriage it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.
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