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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Wrong
Funny
Illiteracy
Perpetually
Dog
Door
Side

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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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Celery, raw, Develops the jaw
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I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
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I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
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And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
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There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees.
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
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Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.
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Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.
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All that glitters is sold as gold.
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.
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Passivity can be a provoking modus operandi Consider the Empire and Gandhi.
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Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.
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Smallpox is natural vaccine ain't.
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This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
Ogden Nash