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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Illiteracy
Perpetually
Dog
Door
Side
Wrong
Funny

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Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
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Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
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Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
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This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
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The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two Or else the other way around I'm never sure. Are you?
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Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, time up! My little dog must die, And lie in dust with Hector's pup I So, presently, must I.
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Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
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Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends
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Don't over-analyze your marriage it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.
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We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
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I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.
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