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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash
Age: 68 †
Born: 1902
Born: August 19
Died: 1971
Died: May 19
Poet
Screenwriter
Writer
New York
United States
Frederic Ogden Nash
Door
Side
Wrong
Funny
Illiteracy
Perpetually
Dog

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Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
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A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.
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One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
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The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
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Women would rather be right than reasonable.
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Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
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Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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You can take it as understood, That your luck changes only if it's good.
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Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.
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I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.
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The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Ogden Nash
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All that glitters is sold as gold.
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No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.
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A bit of talcum Is always walcum.
Ogden Nash